If You Can't Walk, Fly

Helen Lewison and Yogi

 Day 1

From my kitchen window, I have a great view of the city, as well as the many birds that enjoy the bird feeder on my deck. Sometimes, when a flock of pigeons descend, the little birds are intimidated and scatter rapidly leaving the big guys to what big guys do – take over. When I rap on the window they leave, but this morning I notice a small black pigeon walking along the railing. I rap and she looks at me with a puzzled expression. Then I notice she is limping. I watch while she picks at the seeds on the railing, hopping on one leg.

 I commiserate with the small black pigeon as she struggles to fly away. It takes tremendous will power to lift herself off, but when she becomes airborne, no disability is visible. I hope this little pigeon will return. I need to know that life continues and doesn’t get pushed aside by stronger forces; that having a disability doesn’t stop one from being part of mankind, birdkind or any other kind.

 Day 2

This morning the pigeon is sitting on the railing. I’m going to call her Yogi. I watch as she limps back and forth. Looking at the bird feeder, I realize it’s quite high and she’s eating seeds that have fallen from the feeder. It needs to be lowered, so I attach a chain to the wire holding the feeder in place. Now all she has to do is bend her neck – oh, look she’s doing it! She’s eating!

 In the afternoon, I see Yogi on the railing again. As she slowly approaches the feeder, another pigeon lands and begins pecking at her. She fights back valiantly. Through the window, I call, “Get lost!” and the bully takes off. Yogi looks at me and I say in a soothing voice, “Go ahead and eat. Nobody is going to pick on you”. She moves to the feeder and begins eating quickly. When she is done, she glances at me before flying away.

 Day 3

Yesterday, I thought was the end of the world…for me. I ached all day while fires raged through my body. I had surgery a few months ago and suffer from a nerve disorder called neuropathy. When a doctor finally prescribed something, I slept all night for the first time in weeks. When I awake this morning, Yogi is back. I open the kitchen window and call for her. She comes, but a flock follows her. I rap on the window since they won’t give her a chance to eat. They all leave, including Yogi. After a few minutes of calling her, she returns, this time alone. As she eats. I notice that she is now using both legs. She can walk!  I feel like I’ve accomplished a small miracle.

 Day 4

I’m filling the feeder. I call and Yogi returns. She stands on the railing, glancing around, not rushing to eat. After awhile, a few pigeons join her. “Get lost” I yell, and they do. I don’t want to disturb Yogi’s new independence. Later, when I look outside, I hear the fluttering of wings and see Yogi swatting the other intruding birds – wham, bam! I didn’t know she had it in her. Congrats, Yogi!  I’m proud of you, girl. You’re smaller than the others, but now that you’ve got your strength back, you’re not taking nothin’ from nobody.

 What have I wrought, but a warrior bird? Just like each of us, with a brave soul inside trying to get out.

 If Yogi can recover from her disability, I’m going to follow her lead. I’m going to get better. No, I will get better. The pain will disappear and I will walk again one day. I would like to be able to fly like Yogi, but for now I’ll settle for moving one foot in front of the other.